- To start off, it has been so long since I have blogged and I logged on today and had a wonderful invitation from Daveda! Well, this could take all day!
My Life Before Jesus:
My childhood has many good memories, and some sad ones also, I am the youngest of 3 children and have always felt loved by my family. My parents divorced when I was 9 years old and our world kinda fell apart. The biggest thing I remember was everyone was so sad and my mother was completely different from that day forward. Around the same time, my mothers brother died in a car accident, so there was a lot of sadness and depression going on all around us. All in all, we picked up the pieces and moved forward with life. My teenage years were wild, I wanted to be popular and hung around with "the in crowd" and we did a lot of drinking and I always seemed to be dating someone. I started dating my daughter's father when I was 19 and got pregnant 6 months later and had her by 21. My first marriage didn't work out so hot! Right after that I lost my father to suicide. Life was hard and confusing. I then met my second husband. We fell in love, we were crazy about each other, together all the time, he loved my daughter and my family and friends were always together. The drinking and "fast lane" life we led ran us into a wall pretty fast!
How I Met Jesus:
After dating my second husband for almost 5 years, I became pregnant again, and right at that time, life was starting to change quickly. Shawn worked out of town and we rarely saw one another, but we were pretty excited about having a baby. He started working closer to home and we were gonna settle down and have a family. We had our son and he was determined to change his life. Kaboom, the more he tried, everything exploded! His past started to really affect his life, another dysfunctional family. I discovered when he was home all the time, things were very different and got worse very quickly. Drugs had taken control of his life and it was spinning out of control. Our son was about 2 months old and he lost his job and we had just bought a house and had gotten married. I was about to lose everything! Several attempts at rehab, unsuccessful. And now he started to become unfaithful! He had suggested church as his higher power that they talked about in rehab. His grandma attended a church he had gone to since a young boy. I had gone a few times but never really liked it much and always thought I would find us a "better" church. But one day, Pastor Gary Watkins, gave a message and I was desperate, I went forward and some people prayed for me, I cried so hard, and a part of me felt better and I knew that day, Jesus died on the cross for my sins, and he died for me!
I Got Serious About Jesus:
Life seemed to get better, but I still didn't know how God was gonna help me with "this" problem. Shawn got a great job and did good for awhile. During the time he had made it through rehab and went back to work, things were okay for awhile and then failed a test again, losing his job. I was so hurt and frustrated! Then I found out I was pregnant. Oh my, I can't explain how scared and alone I felt, I concealed the pregnancy for 5 1/2 months. I knew something happened to me, I prayed and asked God for one "last" sin! (As though I would never sin again!) I knew that if I went to Planned Parenthood, they would hook me up to have an abortion. I drove around all that day and ended up at the Berean Bookstore. I went in with my son and started checking out the bibles. I turned to the index for notes and there it was ABORTION : Jeremiah 1:5 (Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.......) I couldn't do it. The next day, I called my OB, went in and found out I was 5 1/2 months pregnant and having twins... I just laughed and looked up and thought, "You must have a sense of humor." My church family was so awesome, they loved me and took care of me, when I gave birth, they came daily with meals and groceries and toiletries, and I vowed that I was gonna find out who this God was that they knew!
I am still on my journey with God and have only moved forward! I cannot believe that I am a single mother of 4 beautiful children and God has helped me every step of the way! I cannot imagine life without them. Today I keep searching for truth and asking God every day to help me know more of his marvelous love so I can keep my eyes on Him and move forward into all the wonderful things he has for me!