Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Man I cannot sleep tonight, so I thought I would write myself to sleep! Hopefully! I can't even tell you why, but I did not feel great today and came home and rested! Went to bed at 10:45 and laid there! Don't know why my mind is so crazy, can't even tell you what I am thinking of! I registered my kids for school today and I can't believe it is that time of year. They are growing so fast! Two first graders, one third grader, and a senior! Where has the time gone? I think about all that has gone on in the past years raising my children and I amazed at the place I am at! We have made it through this life together and I am so thankful for them! There are times when I am so exhausted and can get frustrated with my kids but they really are the product of my existence! They keep me going! I love them so much and sometimes I am so impatient with them. God is helping with this daily as I try to slow down in this crazy life and enjoy them! They each one are wonderful in their very own way! Sydney is such a beautiful girl that came into my life 18 years ago at a very immature time of my life! God knew that I would be the type of person to focus on my responsibility, only He knows what I would have gotten into had I not had another person to tend to! I wasn't with her dad very long but me and her have been together for sooooo long! She has been through everything with me and she is doing very well, thanks to Jesus! I am enjoying watching her become a beautiful young woman, although I need reminded daily that God can take care of her! Jakob is my next child and he came along 10 years later! Oh did that rock Syd's world! He is a joy and full of life! 6 months after he was born I was "born again"! And oh life has changed so much. Having a little boy was so different but wonderful and I had a pretty easy time adjusting! When he was 16 months old, I found out I was pregnant with my next two, Gracie and Kody! Boy, what a challenging time in my life! My husband was battling drug addiction and alcoholism and this was quite a surprise to me at a crucial time in my life! Little did I know that they would be my saving grace! I have always been a person who would take care of their kids, but had no idea how I would do it now! The twins were 18 months when Jakob, Grace, and Kody's Dad and I separated! I had back surgery about 9 months later! I still can't believe I made it through that with 4 kids and my job, I don't get paid if I don't work! I took only 2 weeks off work and returned with the wonderful help of my coworkers! And here we are many years later! I just can't believe the trials we have been through and we don't even smell burnt! As I reflect back on life, I can see so much of God along the way, so much! He is my strength and my salvation! He is my light! What can man do to me? He is my husband! He is my provider! He is my everything! He has helped me raise my kids, there has been a solution to every problem I have had! This morning I am truly thanking the Lord for all He has done for me and asking Him to help me open myself up and to be able to recognize everything new He has for me! Oh what a glorious day! I need to sleep but this time was precious!!!